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The Source of Loneliness May Not Be What You Think

For years I had no idea what it meant to live consciously or to have a conscious voice. Disconnected from myself, my true voice was filtered and corrupted by the pain I harbored. In my pain I was convinced that if other people, situations, or the world changed, then I could be happy. Having a conscious voice required me to get intimate with myself and become aware of all of my feelings, including those I had labeled as good or bad and those previously hidden from my awareness.

The truth is there are not good and bad feelings. All feelings are just information and indicators of what is in need of healing within you. For example, you may feel lonely, say you want to meet someone, and start a new relationship, only to still feel lonely. This is because loneliness isn’t about a lack of connection with another person, but a lack of intimacy with self. It’s like expecting the car’s check engine light to go away by driving on a different road. You may have changed the external scenery but the internal cause of the problem hasn’t been addressed, so it persists.

Your ability to experience intimacy with another is unlocked when you have an intimate connection with yourself. The good news is that in awareness, you can “use” your relationships with others to observe what is going on inside of you, notice what you are projecting, and develop an intimate connection with yourself. Or conversely, as often happens when we move through life unconsciously, you can “use” a relationship to feel bad, stay disconnected, and reinforce the stories and identities you hold. The core of your experience of any relationship is your relationship with yourself!

Having a conscious voice requires stepping into the sometimes messy and confusing beliefs of what you “think” is the problem, so you can uncover and then heal the cause of what is really keeping you from happiness. Through intimate awareness, you can release confusion and have a voice on behalf of Truth. Your Truth. But without this level of Truth telling and listening, you are preventing yourself from discovering core issues that unconsciously hold you in pain and struggle. Identifying these issues is the first step toward healing them.

Committing to the healing process allows you to fully step into being empowered. It equates to FREEDOM and ultimately to living life more spaciously and in alignment with yourself.

Remember, when Love is invited into your life, everything changes in the best way possible. Love unravels non-beneficial patterns and beliefs. When you open your heart to the unconscious voice of pain, within yourself or others, and bring consciousness to the pain, you are addressing the core of human suffering. Boom! What a beautiful way to transform.

This post originally appeared in the July 2017 Inner Prosperity Newsletter. You can sign up for our newsletter and get these gems in your inbox as well as a free guided mediation on peace.

RitaLaughingSquare150About the author: Rita Henry, founder of Inner Prosperity in Des Moines, Iowa, is an intuitive counselor who has helped thousands of people live more joyful, authentic lives. Rita’s unique approach combines powerful energy work, Qigong, meditation, and breath-work to help clients heal the mind, body and spirit. Rita provides essential, unwavering support through individual sessions and a wide range of group-centered classes, workshops and retreats.


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